|2/12/2008 3:39:00 PM|
Pun fun for the last time - some one-line samples
|Perhaps some of the conclusions of last week's story puns were a bit obscure and if that was so, I apologize. See if some of these one-liners satisfy and then I'm done with the subject. |
1. A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired.
2. What's the definition of a will? It's a dead giveaway.
3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
4. A backward poet writes inverse.
5. In democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism it's your count that votes.
6. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.
7. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
8. If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
9. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
10. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.
11. When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
12. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
13. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
14. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
15. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
16. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
17. Every calendar's days are numbered.
18. A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and 'taint mine.
19. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
20. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
21. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
22. The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
23. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
24. When you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
25. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
26. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
27. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
28. Santa's helpers are subordinate Clauses.
29. Acupuncture is a jab well done.
30. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.
Tired of this exercise yet? There's more:
1. Energizer Bunny arrested - charged with battery.
2. A pessimist's blood type is b-negative.
3. Practice safe eating - use condiments.
4. A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
5. Shotgun wedding: Wife or death.
6. I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.
7. If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
8. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
9. Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
10. Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?
11. Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
12. Sea captains don't like crew cuts.
13. Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
14. A gossip is someone with a sense of rumor.
15. When you dream in color, it's a pigment of your imagination.
16. Reading while sunbathing makes you well-red.
17. When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
18. Alarms: What an octopus is.
19. Dockyard: A physician's garden.
20. Pasteurize: Too far to see.
21. Toboggan: Why we go to an auction.
Read more Considered Comment columns by JKO at www.rochsent.com.
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