|1/6/2009 8:00:00 AM|
You never can be certain what the youngsters will do
|The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers. He dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whispered, "Hello?"|
Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to a youngster, the boss asked, "Is your Daddy home?"
"Yes," whispered the small voice.
"May I talk with him?" the man asked.
To the surprise of the boss, the small voice whispered, "No."
Wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?"
"Yes," came the answer.
"May I talk with her?"
Again the small voice whispered, "No."
Knowing that it was not likely that a young child would be left home alone, the boss decided he would just leave a message with the person who should be there watching over the child.
"Is there anyone there besides you?" the boss asked the child.
"Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman."
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"
"No, he's busy," whispered the child.
"Busy doing what?" asked the boss.
"Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the fireman," came the whispered answer.
Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?"
"A hello-copper," answered the whispering voice.
"What is going on there?" asked the boss, now alarmed.
In an awed whispering voice the child answered, "The search team just landed the hello-copper."
Alarmed, concerned and more than just a little frustrated, the boss asked, "Why are they there?"
Still whispering, the young voice replied along with a muffled giggle, "They're looking for me."
His pediatrician asked 6-year-old Johnny, who watched a good many TV ads, just to make conversation, "Johnny, if you found a couple of dollars and had to spend them, what would you buy?"
"A box of Tampax," he replied without hesitation.
"Tampax?" said the doctor. "What would you do with that?"
"Well," said Johnny, "I don't know exactly, but it's sure worth two dollars. With Tampax, it says on TV, you can go swimming, go horseback riding and also go skating, any time you want to."
A little boy knocks at the door and tells the woman owner that something of his had found its way into her garage, and he wanted it back. The homeowner opened the garage and noticed two additions; a baseball and broken window sporting a baseball-sized hole.
"How do you suppose this ball got in here?" she asked the child.
Taking one look at the ball, one look at the window, and one look at the homeowner, the little boy exclaimed, "Wow lady! I must have thrown it right through that hole!"
Some not too smart young gangsters decide to rob a bank. After several days of planning they agree on the best plan.
The next day they get to work and are able to get into the bank relatively easy thanks to their planning. Once inside the main vault they discover one wall is full of safety deposit boxes and start to work on them immediately. They drill and pry open the first box only to find a small container of vanilla pudding inside.
The head gangster says, "OK, well, at least we can eat it." So they eat the pudding. They drill and pry open up the second safety deposit box and there sits another pudding. They decide to devour it, too. Determined to find the goods, the process continues for the rest of the night until all the safety deposit boxes have been opened and the contents eaten just like the first two.
They didn't find any money or jewelry in any of the boxes. Disappointed, the head gangster said, "Well, at least they left something for us to eat."
The next day, while listening to the news they were astonished to hear: "Yesterday the largest sperm bank in the USA was robbed by an unknown group of burglars."
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