|4/27/2010 8:00:00 AM|
Grandmother offers new bride laundry advice
|Years ago an Alabama grandmother gave the new bride the following recipe, and this is an exact copy as written and found in an old scrapbook with spelling as found there:|
Build fire in backyard to heat kettle of rain water. Set tubs so smoke wont blow in eyes if wind is pert. Shave one hole cake of lie soap in boilin water.
Sort things, make 3 piles
1 pile white,
1 pile colored,
1 pile work britches and rags.
To make starch, stir flour in cool water to smooth, then thin down with boiling water.
Take white things, rub dirty spots on board, scrub hard, and boil, then rub colored, don't boil, just wrench and starch.
Take things out of kettle with broom stick handle, then wrench, and starch.
Hang old rags on fence.
Spread tea towels on grass.
Pore wrench water in flower bed. Scrub porch with hot soapy water. Turn tubs upside down.
Go put on clean dress, smooth hair with hair combs. Brew cup of tea, sit and rock a spell and count your blessings.
Zebediah was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers, called pullets, and eight or 10 roosters, whose job was to fertilize the eggs.
Zeb kept records, and any rooster that didn't perform well went into the soup pot and was replaced.
That took an awful lot of Zeb's time, so Zeb got a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone so that Zeb could tell, from a distance, which rooster was performing.
Now, he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells.
Zeb's favorite rooster was old Brewster. A very fine specimen he was, too. But on this particular morning, Zeb noticed that Brewster's bell had not rung at all!!
Zeb went to investigate.
The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells a-ringing! The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.
But, to Zeb's amazement, Brewster had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.
Zeb was so proud of Brewster that he entered him in the county fair. Brewster was an overnight sensation.
The judges not only awarded him the No Bell Piece Prize but also the Pulletsurprise.
Two elderly women were out driving one day and both could just barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection and the traffic light was red but they just went on through.
The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself, "I must be losing it; I could have sworn we just went through a red light."
After a few more minutes they came to another intersection, the light was red again, and again they went right through.
This time the passenger was almost sure that the light had been red but was also concerned that she might be seeing things. She was getting nervous and decided to pay very close attention.
At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was definitely red and they went right through it.
She turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred! Did you know we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us!"
Mildred turned to her and said, "Oh dear! Am I driving?"
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