Now that the spring freeze has ended, golfers will be springing up again like buttercups and so the book that just has been published will be of much interest to them. It provides valuable playing tips and insider information gained through the author's 40 years of experience. Check out the Table of Contents and see if you don't agree.

Chapter 1 - How to properly line up your fourth putt.

Chapter 2 - How to hit a Nike from the rough when you hit a Titleist from the tee.

Chapter 3 - How to avoid the water when you lie 8 in a bunker.

Chapter 4 - How to get more distance off the shank.

Chapter 5 - When to give the ranger the finger.

Chapter 6 - Using your shadow on the greens to maximize earnings.

Chapter 7 - When to implement handicap management.

Chapter 8 - Proper excuses for drinking beer before 9 a.m.

Chapter 9 - How to rationalize a 6-hour round.

Chapter 10 - How to find that ball that everyone else saw go in the water.

Chapter 11 - Why your spouse doesn't care that you birdied the 5th.

Chapter 12 - How to let a foursome play through your twosome.

Chapter 13 - How to relax when you are hitting three off the tee.

Chapter 14 - When to suggest major swing corrections to your opponent.

Chapter 15 - God and the meaning of the birdie-to-bogey three putt.

Chapter 16 - When to regrip your ball retriever.

Chapter 17 - Can you purchase a better golf game.

Chapter 18 - Why male golfers will pay $5 a beer from the cart girl and give her a $3 tip, but will balk at $3.50 at the 19th hole and stiff the bartender.

Sadly, I know neither the publisher or the publication date of the book.



However, here's a bit of history about the game.

The Scots justly are proud of their famed golf courses and traditions, but the game they called "gowf," or, "gouf" originated in Holland, where it was called "colf," meaning "club," the stick with which the ball was hit, that is. Whatever the origin, the word "golf" has figured in the English language since the 1450s.



After their 11th child, a couple decided that was enough because they could not afford a larger bed. So the husband went to his veterinarian and told him that he and his wife didn't want to have any more children.

The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem but that it was expensive.

"A less costly alternative," said the doctor, "is to go home, get a cherry bomb, (fireworks are legal in some states) light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to your ear and count to 10."

The man said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest tool in the shed, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me."

"Trust me," said the doctor.

So the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count.

"1"

"2"

"3"

"4"

"5"

Then he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and resumed counting on his other hand.